After mass, he asked Monsignor how he had done it. Monsignor replied, “When I fear being nervous in the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the glass of water. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.
The following Sunday, the new priest decided to follow Monsignor's advice. At first he felt nervous and took a drink. He started talking about a storm.
Back in his office, he found a note on the door that read:
– Sip the vodka, don't swallow.
– There are 10 commandments, not 12.
– There are 12 disciples, not 10.
– Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
– Jacob bet his donkey, he did not “bet his donkey”.