We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”She was almost nearing ecstatic
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the
cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No
honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as
her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!” Then I said, “Really,
honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just
not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man, for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
The man is equating his wife in a crazy way