The Drunk Makes A Phone Call on Christmas Eve


On Christmas Eve morning, a phone rings in the home of a liquor store manager.

The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:

“Good morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?”

“Well,” replies the manager politely, “We’re closed this Christmas Eve, so we won’t be opening today.”

“I see. Thank you for the information.”

On the next day, the phone rings early in the morning at the manager’s home, and the voice on the other line asks with a somewhat less steady voice:

“Good morning sir, at what time – hic – d’ya open?”

“Well, today’s Christmas Day, so we’re closed today too,” the manager replies, barely keeping the frustration out of his voice.

“I schee, I schee,” the voice replies.

On Boxing Day, the phone rings once more.  A slurring voice asks:

“M’goodschir, I wshjustwondering, when d’ya open?”

“Look, I’ve had enough of this.  You’ve called me on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day, and I told you that we’re closed.  Today’s Boxing Day and we’re definitely closed.  But we’re open as usual at 9 AM tomorrow, and don’t worry, I’ll be there personally to make sure that they won’t let you in!”

“Lemmein? I don’t wantcha to – hic! – lemmein.  I wantcha to lemmeout!

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